The Build

Sitting here in the quiet hours of a Sunday evening in our third temporary residence in two years since selling our house, my husband and I are 16 months into building a home we’ve personally designed. Months of planning quickly turned into two years of drawing, dreaming, and coordinating the build. 

At the beginning of this journey, and after our first quote from a local builder, we agreed that to stay within a reasonable budget, it would be better for my husband to act as the contractor and oversee the project rather than hire a builder. 

While we don’t regret it, it hasn’t always been an easy project. Many stages of the process have tested our patience—with the process itself and one another. Very few steps to get to where we are now have gone smoothly or as initially planned. But here we are—closer today than we ever have been. 

We have so many sets of revised plans that I’m not sure I could show someone the original plan created by the first architect we hired. 

Fast forward…

Because of an interruption or distraction (about a month ago), I am now sitting here on the Monday morning before Thanksgiving, desiring to complete this post…now 17 months into building a home we’ve personally designed, in the third temporary residence in two years since selling our house. 

This scenario has been a familiar theme for 17 months- starting something and feeling unable to finish it. 

So here I sit, understanding that feelings and emotions cannot compete with the will of God. Why? Because the Holy Spirit operates above and beyond feelings, and His purpose prevails. His work in us requires a building process like our new house construction process. His process and timeline (not mine) are the perfect plan. 

The build offers us seasons of preparation.

The build requires steadfastness regardless of distractions, interruptions, and hold-ups. 

The build requires us to surrender our need to understand. 

The build allows unexpected blessings to follow and catch up with us. 

And the build must move forward regardless of our challenges and feelings. It may require a shift in mindset and a decision to be led by the Spirit of God, intentionally exercising our faith. 

You see, the building process is never finished. Inspections are just the beginning of another phase. And the final inspection is just the transition into the “maintenance” phase. 

In the book of Nehemiah, we see a process by which God used Nehemiah to rebuild the wall around Jerusalem. But God didn’t assign this task to Nehemiah without first doing a work in him.  God prepared Nehemiah long before that time through positioning and influence. He prepared him beyond feelings and emotions. And Nehemiah went into his assignment understanding that the build would take diligent prayer, fasting, and humility. 

Can I take you back for a moment of reference?

“I started dreaming of house three during my mid-twenties. Every time I dream of it, I remember the details vividly. I’ve frequently talked about the dream and house with others, contemplating the possible meaning behind the details. The dream about this house is reoccurring, but there have also been variations of the dream over time. Sometimes, the house is complete, and other times it is not. 

I’m almost certain the first time I dreamed of this house, the attic was unfinished, and as I walked up the stairs, the top floor began to move around in the sky. Sometimes, pieces of the attic fall, crumbling as the stairs, pieces of wood, and other objects hit the ground. I almost always feel anxious when I wake up from those dreams.

Other times, house three is complete. But feeling lost, I’m unable to find my way around. I go up and down the stairs, follow hallways, and always end up where I started without getting anywhere. Finished or not, the condition of the top floor always seems to have the most significant impact on how I feel when I wake up from the dream.” ― Christy Nichols, Gift of Three Blog Post - “Three Dreams, Four Houses,” March 2022

I have pondered this dream for about 20 years. 

Present day;

Over the past year, I have walked the foundation, hallways, individual rooms, up and down the stairs of our new home many more times than I can count. Today, with walls painted, we are closer than ever to completion. But are we?

One of my favorite writings by C.S. Lewis explains it well;

“Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on; you knew that those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised. But presently He starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make any sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of - throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were being made into a decent little cottage: but He is building a palace. He intends to come and live in it Himself.”― C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

I now understand that the build is continuous on this side of heaven. 

And just as in the dream God gives me at night, finished or not, the condition of the top floor always seems to have the most significant impact on how I feel when I awake. But the build requires more than feelings. 

The build requires intention. A shift in mindset, steadfastness, prayer, and humility.

The build requires surrender to the one holding the plans in His hands.